The good thing is that even in unfriendly societies, us homos have always managed to find our way to each other, the author writes. In fact, Im wearing a black biker kerchief around my neck right now. While I do enjoy pretty light bondage activities with creative sex partners, Im sure as heck not looking to buy it!
All Rights Reserved. Flagging, also know as the hanky code, is a way to signal to others what type of sex, kink or fetish someone is seeking. Hanky code was the primary way of flagging back then. Converse, I often find myself wondering if people realize theyre flagging. If youre scared of anal fisting you dont need to be! i just popped in here to jump in on this one, because first and foremost: THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS QUESTION. Black nail polish meant the wearer was into BDSM, light blue meant the wearer was into oral sex. We're not all enlightened creatures swanning around not making swift and almost imperceptible judgments about other people based on the way they look. Forget the bandanna because I dont own any of a specific color to attract another femme.
Everyone knows that stereotypes are stupid and no one should assume anything based on the way a person looks or dresses.
You get the picture. other than that, a hanky around the neck, pointed left or right may do the trick, and if it doesnt fuck with your style or gender feels, flagging with a nail color on your left or right hand (even if you dont identify as femme) is also an option. I'm a cartoonist living in Minneapolis. Or you can get crafty and pick up some of your own bandanas and make something fiercelike a bow or a pin or whatever you want. Wrap them around your bikini top. I dont want queerness to be normalized. Well, Im here to help.
I dont want to be normal.
This can be a fun thing to flag at any sort of orgy setting! Other kee-razy stuff!). Like with the handkerchief code, certain colors of nail polish symbolized certain things. Heya, thanks for linking our expanded hanky code.
Some folks will tie a handkerchief around their neck to signify switching/into either receiving or giving the sexual act. Pingback: Kinky Fashion Report: IML Weekend Chicago, 2012 (NSFW) MsBehaved.com, Maybe I might have missed it but I dont recall there being a color chart for femme seeking other femmes in the nail Polish world.
Pins are a new feminist fashion statement that has taken our culture by storm. Awesome list, Im excited to dig into those I havent read!
Oh dear, Im afraid Ive been telling people I bottom when Im actually just left handed so my wallets in the left pocket.
Thats right, the shade of the color also matters when it comes to the hanky code. I am a long time bisexual crossdresser, but even longer time kerchief wearer. Ways to indicate to fellow queers that we see them and we are one of them.
Its that simple! Theres a million ways to flagits really up to you. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. ), a different color (their "flagging" color). What this means for anyone who even remotely occupies the shared space between "girly girl" and "girl who likes girls" is that even the sorta-femmey can get the cold shoulder from other lesbians. I wear it often.
(LogOut/
I have such a love hate relationship with flagging. Tie the knot on the right to indicate bottom, the left to indicate top or behind your head to indicate switch. The handkerchief is of course an item seen to be especially pertinent amongst the wealthy, upper class, and generally fancy straight men of the time that sought out and courted women with marriage proposals being the ultimate goal of the relationship, not stranger sex, writes blogger Soul Train Kevin. Susan Stryker andJim Van Buskirk propose in Gay by the Bay: A History of Queer Culture in the San Francisco Bay Area,that the hanky code originated in NYC in the 70s when a journalist for the Village Voice wrote a joke that it would be far more efficient to subtly announce particular sexual prowess with differently colored hankies than wearing keys to indicate whether someone was a top or bottom. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Enby is a Black/Trans owned company run by 3 enby's that believes that all bodies deserve affirmation and pleasure. At this point in my life, I wore traditionally feminine clothes and always looked like what my mother calls a girly girl. Or veganism as Chingy, a great flagging expert, has talked about. Well you can rejoice, because through conversations Ive had with other femmes, alternative flaggers and general hanky code enthusiasts, Ive come up with the following tips: Wear a bandana on your head, in your hair like a headband or around your neck. In the pansexual BDSM scene, in Leatherbars, in sex-positive spaces and at queer sex parties. Or veganism. Sorry you have to deal with Covid, but thank you for sharing this! Thanks for the reminder! interested in color commentary maybe?? brown and black together symbolize abc
So tell me what are the specific colors to wear to attract or for that matter repel anyone you may not be trying to attract. I am a femme lesbian who prefers to date other femme lesbians). This is bondage, usually meaning light bondage think some rope, a blindfold, ankle cuffs, being held down! A baby queer in rural America might just see an older dyke wearing a red bandana around her neck and feel so affirmed in that moment. Flagging is great because it takes away some of the pressure and intensity of sexual acts, like something doesnt always have to be BIG and MEANINGFUL or done with a significant other. Tie a hanky to your wrist, ankle, boot, belt loop or wherever else you can.Just put it on the side you wish to flag. Now I understand why the cute TSA agent was flirting with me when I took my camp hanky off in the security line at LAX. Yes. https://flaggingopinicusrampant.wordpress.com/hanky-code/. ), This is an expanded hanky code chart, building upon the traditional meanings. You already have undercuts and now harnesses; let me keep this. Im not sure what would work for sure, but thats what comes to mind. Ive seen them folded, wrinkled, ironed, Ive seen them covered in grease and even some that were covered in love juice (this is me trying to not say the word come/cum). Worn as a bottom it means let me lick your feet. Coral could be interpreted as more than just mouth-on-foot action. A Village Voice journalist is credited with the birth of the modern hanky code in 1970, jokingly suggesting that instead of wearing keys to indicate whether someone was a top or a bottom, it would be more effective to announce a particular sexual desire by wearing different colored hankies in their back pockets. For full hanky code of colors, positions and patterns click here. You can fist/be fisted anally or vaginally.
Archie,bravo! (And while flagging means being open to being propositioned and to being rejected, a flag is not be misconstrued as consent.).
Its the form of expression that feels most natural to me when it comes to style and appearance, from the clothes I buy to how I style them, she continues, even arguing that the term femme is often associated with lesbians, others might also identify as femme. Pingback: Flagging for femmes and other people who need an alternative to the back pocket | QClick Radar. Another woman is in the bulk foods section, filling a plastic bag with brown rice. There are folks who have already written about this and in greater detail and with more theory than Im able to muster check out this article on flagging history and this film anthology combining 25 shorts from different queer directors worldwide, each telling a story based on a color/fetish of the infamous hanky code. I cant fully express just how important it is to have nonverbal ways to communicate our sexuality, our gender, our kinks. Flagging opens a platform for negotiating those desires by inviting potentially sexual attention. You've decided to leave a comment.
It became popular in the 1970s when gay men used handkerchiefs in certain pockets to signify sexual acts they were interested in giving/receiving often in public parks or bathrooms or around the town. Got to tell you, thats an awful long time to be that naive. Get cute denim skirt with back pockets and go for a Western look etc, obscenely tight jeans or pants with a back pocket and Pink Lady them up. Seeupdates to the code and join in the discussion here. When I wear these forms of queer expression, I feel more confident, more sexy and more visibly queer. And lets be real, most of the messages on these pins will go right over the heads of clueless straight folx, bless their hearts.
Change). Really appreciate this list and the variety of perspectives, thank you so much! Seeupdates to the code and join in the discussion here. Flagging is about communicating a targeted message and that message could be lost if not broadcast properly. Ive flagged for years, but for BDSM not sex.
weve been helping you get off since 2009. lets take it to the next level. That right there is enough of a selling point to me.
hey there! Make a pin, charm, hair accessory, etc. Regardless, green indicates some sort of transaction, and I feel that unless youre a sex worker or looking to hire a sex worker for the evening, you should be mindful of wearing this color.
Also works excellently against the flu. Femme invisibility is the term for what feminine-looking queer women experience when they try to convince other lesbians that they are, in fact, queer. Ive seen people flag at the bars before and it always makes me really happy, it feels like something thats just For Us, you know? Think hankies are heinous? When someone wants to flag for friendship should you really be flagging at all? An article in xoJane was widely read and shared, a number of well-known blog posts celebrated the trend, and an entire Tumblr blog was devoted to femme-flagging.
out of bandanas. In my boot lace; with buttons, hair accessories and bracelets. (SM! There were only a few colors suggestedred, navy, light blue, green and blackbecause that was all that Levis produced at the time. Other forms of flagging have since been taken over by straights altogether, too.
You see a woman in a cashmere twinset, flattering khakis and a sensible bob, pushing a cart with a baby in the seat. Yesterday was nails. But wait!
Support me using Patreon. Even though this code has been around for decades doesnt mean some of the colors arent up for interpretation. You are walking down an aisle in a grocery store. In my time at college, I met plenty of queer women who femme-flagged without intending to attract a sexual partner: the flagging was done for the purpose of finding friendship and community with other queer women. Different colors could also refer to different sexual acts. Who doesnt want to get pissed on or piss on a friend in a casual setting! This post originally appeared on XO Jane.
The handkerchief was usually worn in a specific way to indicate your sexual preferences: the left pocket means youre a bottom, the right pocket means youre a top. Thats true. Thats the point. Appreciate being enlightened! If your chair has push handles why not tie it on there? I remembered the existence of this related article (https://www.autostraddle.com/9-lesbian-ways-to-wear-a-bandana-417744/) looking there, wrist or front pants pocket would both work! Ahhhhh lovely and universal navy blue! it has always seemed so Next Level Gay and i was never sure I had reached it. grey for bondage, black for S&M, light blue for oral (hooray! But also, pee on a stranger. Put a toe (or toes) in an orifice! Why not let my fingers do it for me, while also looking fashion-smashion? You can tie it around your upper arm, or there is a way to flag with bootlaces, but youll have to talk to a bootblack. Get this collar chain for yourself and you might just find the baby youre looking for ;).
I really like her and she likes me as well. So how do we wear our sexuality on our sleeves? At the time, I liked the idea of it because it felt subtle enough to still be safe and not necessarily out me in a situation where I would have felt uncomfortable or unsafe, she says. 5. What many straight people didnt know from looking at my nails is that I was participating in femme-flagging. Let's imagine for a moment that all three women are lesbians. Or like mentioned above flagging with a nail color on your left or right hand, maybe even tying a bandana on wrist and add bangles to girlie it up. Boobs on Your Tube: Ryan Wilder and Alex Danvers, Together at Last! Literally start flagging again, hanky code and all. Oh yeah, I learned this from Shar Rednour years ago thats an awesome visual though! Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. or a ribbon or cloth tied somewhere out of the way? Conveniently, I would stuff it in one of my back pockets, often times letting it dangle. Queer femmes are pure magic. Anything, anywhere, anyplace!
theres a reason there isnt a flag for platonic talking. In concept, I adore it. Wear them to brunch.
I understand this as anything from pinching and slapping to nipple clamps, nipple suctions, nipple piercing, or knife play on the chest.
Enter "femme invisibility." And thus, flagging has sort of fallen to the wayside. Sub in a plain color fabric or use scarves or ribbons. This summer, I want to see yall out and about with your hankys! Were in a shift, where we no longer have to cruise in parks after midnight and can turn to apps and the internet to help find those that have similar interests. This is fantastic! Does a bandana clash with your outfit?
The more you know :D, On a side note, do people actually flag with things other than hankies/bandanas? Just to betray my approximate age, I started wearing kerchiefs around my neck in high school in the 1970s. Try scarves or ribbons as an alternative.
I've also seen women bandying about the idea that each finger could represent something different, each color conveying a specific finger-based meaning. I have two requirements for a femme-flagging manicure: It should be pretty, and it should clearly convey the message ("I like girls!"). Clothing can have a way of empowering the wearer and when said clothing is making an unabashedly queer statement to the world, whether they recognize it or not, its a form of embodying invincibility against all odds. I always always believe in explicit consent, whether Im flagging it or not, but I like that its an added cue for folks in the know.
Yay! I think its exactly the same paisley pattern as on the images for this article. White velvet is the most luxurious color! Queerness doesnt have any physical traits so we create our own symbols to find each other. Bring them to the next queer play party. I think this is an incredibly valid discussion to have, but maybe with limits that are mindful of the origin of flagging. He said that public sources and the companys own informants reported the steel was being transferred to Russia and sold.
But what I do have are tons of nail polish. Are you a sexy femme daddy? So was anything ever decided on a definitive color or nail to at least flag queer? wrote Tumblr user invertsugaron May 7, 2012. to go out in public dressed up, at least not in redneck country, what color might work if I am looking to hook up with another cd and his adventurous wife?!!
The queer trend is mentioned only once, by a contributor who moderated the Femme-Flagging Tumblr. Literally take a handkerchief of your color choosing and put it in your pocket!
3. Us queers have found some incredibly creative ways to communicate to one another without having to out ourselves in potentially dangerous environments. YDY. as for anyone but men, a lesbian flag or its colors should give the memo, Hi s thr is a color which is cream n red scarf which should be a floral one it indicates u r looking for trans women n use lot of floral ladies handkerchiefs. Here are 3 ways Im proposing we can do it! Flagging means being cool with being propositioned, being rejected, and having the capacity to reject. Its difficult to be visibly queer because, of course, queerness isnt something you can see. I usually just end up tying around my neck but I was wondering if there was a way to sign top or bottom that I dont know about.
They have a whiskey and they look in your direction. Individual color meanings be damned. However; Ive spent the last year flagging.
Gay men instead turned this snobbish interpretation of the handkerchief around and flipped its meaning and use by literally using it as a signal to any and all comers that careless, almost anonymous sex was available to them should they match up in preferences.. Having your hanky on the left side of your body means youre a top, having it on the right side means youre a bottom and wearing it around your neck stands for versatile. Any advice for someone in a wheelchair? While femme, in this context, is a term that originated in queer communities, most queer women are stereotyped as butch. Theres an index of our changes to the traditional code here: http://flaggingopinicusrampant.wordpress.com/hanky-code/not-gay-flagging/.
Brevity is not a real strong suit of mine, so hang on.
Do you remember that phase every straight girl went through 5 years ago with painting her fourth nail a different color than the rest?
Flagging is slut pride. And the attention paid to the reasons we often want a shared language to keep our desires away from a police state. Theres this term homosocialization and honestly, I love this term so much.
I was experiencing femme invisibility a fairly common issue that occurs when a femme queer person isnt recognized as queer. Copyright 2009 - 2022 The Excitant Group, LLC. It feels like a form of rebellion against the status quo mostly because when I catch the eye of someone who picks up on my flagging, I feel like we have a secret language no one else around us knows.
Its vital to learn about the history of homosocializing and also find ways to continue it because, honestly, f*ck normalcy.
This is a great hanky to emphasis that even with this code, you need to communicate intentions and expectations.
Why limit yourself!
So if a girl kisses a girl then it doesn't count, right? This is cute but at some point nobodys going to realize its a flag anymore. That said, clothing can be a symbol we use to show our membership to a certain community. Or people who just want to/need to participate in flagging without sticking a hanky in their back pocket?
Finger-flagging can not only signal your sexuality, but also an assortment of finer-grain things related (or not even related!) Hit me up. There really is no limit here;theres a color for almost any sexual act. Carrying a teddy bear, a lemon or a toilet roll in your back pocket just seems uncomfortable *shrug*.
Were brilliant that way., Days After a School Board Candidate Called for the Lynching of Trans Kids Doctors, Florida Plans Attack on Trans Teens and Adults, A Dave Chappelle Show Was Cancelled in Minneapolis and Trans Twitter is Cackling, Beyonc Released the Tracklist to Renaissance and We Are Ready to Release the Wiggle. In the gay cruising culture of the mid-20th century, men would wear their keys on their belt on the left to indicate if he was a top or dominate partnerand on the right to indicate if he was a bottom or reciprocal partner, according to Gay by the Bay: A History of Queer Culture in the San Francisco Bay Area, by Susan Stryker and Jim Van Buskirk. Apparently lavender is the color for cross dressers and drag queens. The colors werent as important as the act itself. Butts are wild(ly awesome).
I was born and raised and a redneck Western State where alternate lifestyles, for the most part, are out of sight. Author of Grease Bats, coming out Fall 2019 with Boom! You could just ask, Are you flagging? or Does that purple handkerchief mean what I think it means? Both get the conversation going, whether or not the person is intentionally flagging. i think pins and patches on lapel sides could do the trick. But now I know why every so often I would endure being called a f***** while trying to enjoy a drink at a local pub. Youre sipping your too-sweet and too-strong cranberry cocktail and you look behind your shoulders and you see them. I dont think many queers actually do much with flagging, they just wear flags because they think its cool. I think forms of femme-flagging help to communicate the right message without asking a femme presenting person to radically alter their presentation.. Do you like the idea of femme-flagging manicures? It seems like my pronoun pins, my support trans women pin(I lost a while back), & lipstick arent enough. Tuck them into your high waisted shorts. Not until last evening did I know may have been transmitting need for sexual gratification, and with another guy to boot! 4. That's a bit too complicated for me - firstly, ten different meanings is a lot to keep track of.
(During this covid-19 crisis, Ive yet to buy a face mask. Finding queer community is often a pivotal moment for people just coming into their sexuality or gender identityor navigating a new city/space. Its certainly made it more difficult to spot a flagging femme.. Bottom line: Get creative. That's fantastic. How do we partake in this time-honored queer tradition? - have preconceived notions about what lesbians look like. The Tumblr blog is now defunct, and some might argue the femme-flagging trend is too. Wearing a dark blue hanky on your right side doesnt mean someone come up to you, pull your pants down to start performing anal on you. Im worried that accent nails are too popular now to be used as a way to flag femme and/or queer.
Yeah, thats so true. Or we have different designs to code for our kinks like stripes for bondage and polka dots for fisting or silver glitter on only the pinky nail for femme4femme desires. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Primarily, what I've seen has been ladies painting all their nails one color, and then painting their ring fingernails, or ring and middle fingernails (fucking fingers! In an Autostraddle article, the author Keena looks at the ways queer people have symbolized their orientations over the centuries. But pretty sure Id count out Rosie the Riveter style or something in the hair cause theres a need for a distinct side and all with some of them and one bandana on one pigtail would ehhhh not so great I think. Dark pink is fun because it means tit torturer/tit torturee. In fact Im meeting up with her next week for lunch and well see how things go. A screen reader friendly version of this chart isavailablehere. I am all about that life. Use of this website is subject to our.
Nearby is another woman with long, shiny brown hair, a French manicure and immaculate makeup, wearing impractically high heels and gold bangles. Meanings can also parallel traditional hanky code colors - i.e. More recently circa the early 2010s femmes created their own form of flagging. ARCHIE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, THANK YOU FOR WRITING ABOUT THIS, ALSO IM OBSESSED WITH THE FACT THAT ONE OF MY FAVORITE COLORS CORRESPONDS TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO DO WITH A SEX/PLAY PARTNER. But what about high femmes?
The BBC has approached the Russian Ministry of Defence for comment, but it has not responded to the accusations. Hope you all recover soon! This tactic was especially employed in the old days (not so old days, it was really only like 30 years ago) when it wasnt as safe to be outwardly queer. While the color or pattern are what indicates your particular desires or fetishes for example, black means youre into S&M, dark blue stands for anal, red is for fisting and grey means youre into bondage. 2. Femme-flagging, also known as finger-flagging, involved painting one or two nails a different color than the other nails. Moira, sitting on the edge of my bed, legs crossed, ankle on knee, in her purple overalls, one dangly earring,the gold fingernail she wore to be eccentric,a cigarette between her stubby yellow-ended fingers, writesMarget Atwood in The Handmaids Tale which could be said to be a subtle prediction for femme flagging back in 1985.
Until now: enter the femme-flagging manicure. While our existence is still othered and persecuted in so many ways, we do have more ability to be freely ourselves in public. These are just a few ideas Ive picked up. To this day, that is still the case.
Talk it out with remote therapy programs and tools. Any of them could be. The practice of flagging has since become popular among queers of all genders, and the colors and the meanings behind the bandanas has evolved to include nearly every shade of sex, kink and fetish. Femme-flagging manicures first came to internet-fame through - what else a Tumblr.
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All Rights Reserved. Flagging, also know as the hanky code, is a way to signal to others what type of sex, kink or fetish someone is seeking. Hanky code was the primary way of flagging back then. Converse, I often find myself wondering if people realize theyre flagging. If youre scared of anal fisting you dont need to be! i just popped in here to jump in on this one, because first and foremost: THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS QUESTION. Black nail polish meant the wearer was into BDSM, light blue meant the wearer was into oral sex. We're not all enlightened creatures swanning around not making swift and almost imperceptible judgments about other people based on the way they look. Forget the bandanna because I dont own any of a specific color to attract another femme.
Everyone knows that stereotypes are stupid and no one should assume anything based on the way a person looks or dresses.
You get the picture. other than that, a hanky around the neck, pointed left or right may do the trick, and if it doesnt fuck with your style or gender feels, flagging with a nail color on your left or right hand (even if you dont identify as femme) is also an option. I'm a cartoonist living in Minneapolis. Or you can get crafty and pick up some of your own bandanas and make something fiercelike a bow or a pin or whatever you want. Wrap them around your bikini top. I dont want queerness to be normalized. Well, Im here to help.
I dont want to be normal.
This can be a fun thing to flag at any sort of orgy setting! Other kee-razy stuff!). Like with the handkerchief code, certain colors of nail polish symbolized certain things. Heya, thanks for linking our expanded hanky code.
Some folks will tie a handkerchief around their neck to signify switching/into either receiving or giving the sexual act. Pingback: Kinky Fashion Report: IML Weekend Chicago, 2012 (NSFW) MsBehaved.com, Maybe I might have missed it but I dont recall there being a color chart for femme seeking other femmes in the nail Polish world.
Pins are a new feminist fashion statement that has taken our culture by storm. Awesome list, Im excited to dig into those I havent read!
Oh dear, Im afraid Ive been telling people I bottom when Im actually just left handed so my wallets in the left pocket.
Thats right, the shade of the color also matters when it comes to the hanky code. I am a long time bisexual crossdresser, but even longer time kerchief wearer. Ways to indicate to fellow queers that we see them and we are one of them.
Its that simple! Theres a million ways to flagits really up to you. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. ), a different color (their "flagging" color). What this means for anyone who even remotely occupies the shared space between "girly girl" and "girl who likes girls" is that even the sorta-femmey can get the cold shoulder from other lesbians. I wear it often.
(LogOut/
I have such a love hate relationship with flagging. Tie the knot on the right to indicate bottom, the left to indicate top or behind your head to indicate switch. The handkerchief is of course an item seen to be especially pertinent amongst the wealthy, upper class, and generally fancy straight men of the time that sought out and courted women with marriage proposals being the ultimate goal of the relationship, not stranger sex, writes blogger Soul Train Kevin. Susan Stryker andJim Van Buskirk propose in Gay by the Bay: A History of Queer Culture in the San Francisco Bay Area,that the hanky code originated in NYC in the 70s when a journalist for the Village Voice wrote a joke that it would be far more efficient to subtly announce particular sexual prowess with differently colored hankies than wearing keys to indicate whether someone was a top or bottom. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Enby is a Black/Trans owned company run by 3 enby's that believes that all bodies deserve affirmation and pleasure. At this point in my life, I wore traditionally feminine clothes and always looked like what my mother calls a girly girl. Or veganism as Chingy, a great flagging expert, has talked about. Well you can rejoice, because through conversations Ive had with other femmes, alternative flaggers and general hanky code enthusiasts, Ive come up with the following tips: Wear a bandana on your head, in your hair like a headband or around your neck. In the pansexual BDSM scene, in Leatherbars, in sex-positive spaces and at queer sex parties. Or veganism. Sorry you have to deal with Covid, but thank you for sharing this! Thanks for the reminder! interested in color commentary maybe?? brown and black together symbolize abc
So tell me what are the specific colors to wear to attract or for that matter repel anyone you may not be trying to attract. I am a femme lesbian who prefers to date other femme lesbians). This is bondage, usually meaning light bondage think some rope, a blindfold, ankle cuffs, being held down! A baby queer in rural America might just see an older dyke wearing a red bandana around her neck and feel so affirmed in that moment. Flagging is great because it takes away some of the pressure and intensity of sexual acts, like something doesnt always have to be BIG and MEANINGFUL or done with a significant other. Tie a hanky to your wrist, ankle, boot, belt loop or wherever else you can.Just put it on the side you wish to flag. Now I understand why the cute TSA agent was flirting with me when I took my camp hanky off in the security line at LAX. Yes. https://flaggingopinicusrampant.wordpress.com/hanky-code/. ), This is an expanded hanky code chart, building upon the traditional meanings. You already have undercuts and now harnesses; let me keep this. Im not sure what would work for sure, but thats what comes to mind. Ive seen them folded, wrinkled, ironed, Ive seen them covered in grease and even some that were covered in love juice (this is me trying to not say the word come/cum). Worn as a bottom it means let me lick your feet. Coral could be interpreted as more than just mouth-on-foot action. A Village Voice journalist is credited with the birth of the modern hanky code in 1970, jokingly suggesting that instead of wearing keys to indicate whether someone was a top or a bottom, it would be more effective to announce a particular sexual desire by wearing different colored hankies in their back pockets. For full hanky code of colors, positions and patterns click here. You can fist/be fisted anally or vaginally.
Archie,bravo! (And while flagging means being open to being propositioned and to being rejected, a flag is not be misconstrued as consent.).
Its the form of expression that feels most natural to me when it comes to style and appearance, from the clothes I buy to how I style them, she continues, even arguing that the term femme is often associated with lesbians, others might also identify as femme. Pingback: Flagging for femmes and other people who need an alternative to the back pocket | QClick Radar. Another woman is in the bulk foods section, filling a plastic bag with brown rice. There are folks who have already written about this and in greater detail and with more theory than Im able to muster check out this article on flagging history and this film anthology combining 25 shorts from different queer directors worldwide, each telling a story based on a color/fetish of the infamous hanky code. I cant fully express just how important it is to have nonverbal ways to communicate our sexuality, our gender, our kinks. Flagging opens a platform for negotiating those desires by inviting potentially sexual attention. You've decided to leave a comment.
It became popular in the 1970s when gay men used handkerchiefs in certain pockets to signify sexual acts they were interested in giving/receiving often in public parks or bathrooms or around the town. Got to tell you, thats an awful long time to be that naive. Get cute denim skirt with back pockets and go for a Western look etc, obscenely tight jeans or pants with a back pocket and Pink Lady them up. Seeupdates to the code and join in the discussion here. When I wear these forms of queer expression, I feel more confident, more sexy and more visibly queer. And lets be real, most of the messages on these pins will go right over the heads of clueless straight folx, bless their hearts.
Change). Really appreciate this list and the variety of perspectives, thank you so much! Seeupdates to the code and join in the discussion here. Flagging is about communicating a targeted message and that message could be lost if not broadcast properly. Ive flagged for years, but for BDSM not sex.
weve been helping you get off since 2009. lets take it to the next level. That right there is enough of a selling point to me.
hey there! Make a pin, charm, hair accessory, etc. Regardless, green indicates some sort of transaction, and I feel that unless youre a sex worker or looking to hire a sex worker for the evening, you should be mindful of wearing this color.
Also works excellently against the flu. Femme invisibility is the term for what feminine-looking queer women experience when they try to convince other lesbians that they are, in fact, queer. Ive seen people flag at the bars before and it always makes me really happy, it feels like something thats just For Us, you know? Think hankies are heinous? When someone wants to flag for friendship should you really be flagging at all? An article in xoJane was widely read and shared, a number of well-known blog posts celebrated the trend, and an entire Tumblr blog was devoted to femme-flagging.
out of bandanas. In my boot lace; with buttons, hair accessories and bracelets. (SM! There were only a few colors suggestedred, navy, light blue, green and blackbecause that was all that Levis produced at the time. Other forms of flagging have since been taken over by straights altogether, too.
You see a woman in a cashmere twinset, flattering khakis and a sensible bob, pushing a cart with a baby in the seat. Yesterday was nails. But wait!
Support me using Patreon. Even though this code has been around for decades doesnt mean some of the colors arent up for interpretation. You are walking down an aisle in a grocery store. In my time at college, I met plenty of queer women who femme-flagged without intending to attract a sexual partner: the flagging was done for the purpose of finding friendship and community with other queer women. Different colors could also refer to different sexual acts. Who doesnt want to get pissed on or piss on a friend in a casual setting! This post originally appeared on XO Jane.
The handkerchief was usually worn in a specific way to indicate your sexual preferences: the left pocket means youre a bottom, the right pocket means youre a top. Thats true. Thats the point. Appreciate being enlightened! If your chair has push handles why not tie it on there? I remembered the existence of this related article (https://www.autostraddle.com/9-lesbian-ways-to-wear-a-bandana-417744/) looking there, wrist or front pants pocket would both work! Ahhhhh lovely and universal navy blue! it has always seemed so Next Level Gay and i was never sure I had reached it. grey for bondage, black for S&M, light blue for oral (hooray! But also, pee on a stranger. Put a toe (or toes) in an orifice! Why not let my fingers do it for me, while also looking fashion-smashion? You can tie it around your upper arm, or there is a way to flag with bootlaces, but youll have to talk to a bootblack. Get this collar chain for yourself and you might just find the baby youre looking for ;).
I really like her and she likes me as well. So how do we wear our sexuality on our sleeves? At the time, I liked the idea of it because it felt subtle enough to still be safe and not necessarily out me in a situation where I would have felt uncomfortable or unsafe, she says. 5. What many straight people didnt know from looking at my nails is that I was participating in femme-flagging. Let's imagine for a moment that all three women are lesbians. Or like mentioned above flagging with a nail color on your left or right hand, maybe even tying a bandana on wrist and add bangles to girlie it up. Boobs on Your Tube: Ryan Wilder and Alex Danvers, Together at Last! Literally start flagging again, hanky code and all. Oh yeah, I learned this from Shar Rednour years ago thats an awesome visual though! Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. or a ribbon or cloth tied somewhere out of the way? Conveniently, I would stuff it in one of my back pockets, often times letting it dangle. Queer femmes are pure magic. Anything, anywhere, anyplace!
theres a reason there isnt a flag for platonic talking. In concept, I adore it. Wear them to brunch.
I understand this as anything from pinching and slapping to nipple clamps, nipple suctions, nipple piercing, or knife play on the chest.
Enter "femme invisibility." And thus, flagging has sort of fallen to the wayside. Sub in a plain color fabric or use scarves or ribbons. This summer, I want to see yall out and about with your hankys! Were in a shift, where we no longer have to cruise in parks after midnight and can turn to apps and the internet to help find those that have similar interests. This is fantastic! Does a bandana clash with your outfit?
The more you know :D, On a side note, do people actually flag with things other than hankies/bandanas? Just to betray my approximate age, I started wearing kerchiefs around my neck in high school in the 1970s. Try scarves or ribbons as an alternative.
I've also seen women bandying about the idea that each finger could represent something different, each color conveying a specific finger-based meaning. I have two requirements for a femme-flagging manicure: It should be pretty, and it should clearly convey the message ("I like girls!"). Clothing can have a way of empowering the wearer and when said clothing is making an unabashedly queer statement to the world, whether they recognize it or not, its a form of embodying invincibility against all odds. I always always believe in explicit consent, whether Im flagging it or not, but I like that its an added cue for folks in the know.
Yay! I think its exactly the same paisley pattern as on the images for this article. White velvet is the most luxurious color! Queerness doesnt have any physical traits so we create our own symbols to find each other. Bring them to the next queer play party. I think this is an incredibly valid discussion to have, but maybe with limits that are mindful of the origin of flagging. He said that public sources and the companys own informants reported the steel was being transferred to Russia and sold.
But what I do have are tons of nail polish. Are you a sexy femme daddy? So was anything ever decided on a definitive color or nail to at least flag queer? wrote Tumblr user invertsugaron May 7, 2012. to go out in public dressed up, at least not in redneck country, what color might work if I am looking to hook up with another cd and his adventurous wife?!!
The queer trend is mentioned only once, by a contributor who moderated the Femme-Flagging Tumblr. Literally take a handkerchief of your color choosing and put it in your pocket!
3. Us queers have found some incredibly creative ways to communicate to one another without having to out ourselves in potentially dangerous environments. YDY. as for anyone but men, a lesbian flag or its colors should give the memo, Hi s thr is a color which is cream n red scarf which should be a floral one it indicates u r looking for trans women n use lot of floral ladies handkerchiefs. Here are 3 ways Im proposing we can do it! Flagging means being cool with being propositioned, being rejected, and having the capacity to reject. Its difficult to be visibly queer because, of course, queerness isnt something you can see. I usually just end up tying around my neck but I was wondering if there was a way to sign top or bottom that I dont know about.
They have a whiskey and they look in your direction. Individual color meanings be damned. However; Ive spent the last year flagging.
Gay men instead turned this snobbish interpretation of the handkerchief around and flipped its meaning and use by literally using it as a signal to any and all comers that careless, almost anonymous sex was available to them should they match up in preferences.. Having your hanky on the left side of your body means youre a top, having it on the right side means youre a bottom and wearing it around your neck stands for versatile. Any advice for someone in a wheelchair? While femme, in this context, is a term that originated in queer communities, most queer women are stereotyped as butch. Theres an index of our changes to the traditional code here: http://flaggingopinicusrampant.wordpress.com/hanky-code/not-gay-flagging/.
Brevity is not a real strong suit of mine, so hang on.
Do you remember that phase every straight girl went through 5 years ago with painting her fourth nail a different color than the rest?
Flagging is slut pride. And the attention paid to the reasons we often want a shared language to keep our desires away from a police state. Theres this term homosocialization and honestly, I love this term so much.
I was experiencing femme invisibility a fairly common issue that occurs when a femme queer person isnt recognized as queer. Copyright 2009 - 2022 The Excitant Group, LLC. It feels like a form of rebellion against the status quo mostly because when I catch the eye of someone who picks up on my flagging, I feel like we have a secret language no one else around us knows.
Its vital to learn about the history of homosocializing and also find ways to continue it because, honestly, f*ck normalcy.
This is a great hanky to emphasis that even with this code, you need to communicate intentions and expectations.
Why limit yourself!
So if a girl kisses a girl then it doesn't count, right? This is cute but at some point nobodys going to realize its a flag anymore. That said, clothing can be a symbol we use to show our membership to a certain community. Or people who just want to/need to participate in flagging without sticking a hanky in their back pocket?
Finger-flagging can not only signal your sexuality, but also an assortment of finer-grain things related (or not even related!) Hit me up. There really is no limit here;theres a color for almost any sexual act. Carrying a teddy bear, a lemon or a toilet roll in your back pocket just seems uncomfortable *shrug*.
Were brilliant that way., Days After a School Board Candidate Called for the Lynching of Trans Kids Doctors, Florida Plans Attack on Trans Teens and Adults, A Dave Chappelle Show Was Cancelled in Minneapolis and Trans Twitter is Cackling, Beyonc Released the Tracklist to Renaissance and We Are Ready to Release the Wiggle. In the gay cruising culture of the mid-20th century, men would wear their keys on their belt on the left to indicate if he was a top or dominate partnerand on the right to indicate if he was a bottom or reciprocal partner, according to Gay by the Bay: A History of Queer Culture in the San Francisco Bay Area, by Susan Stryker and Jim Van Buskirk. Apparently lavender is the color for cross dressers and drag queens. The colors werent as important as the act itself. Butts are wild(ly awesome).
I was born and raised and a redneck Western State where alternate lifestyles, for the most part, are out of sight. Author of Grease Bats, coming out Fall 2019 with Boom! You could just ask, Are you flagging? or Does that purple handkerchief mean what I think it means? Both get the conversation going, whether or not the person is intentionally flagging. i think pins and patches on lapel sides could do the trick. But now I know why every so often I would endure being called a f***** while trying to enjoy a drink at a local pub. Youre sipping your too-sweet and too-strong cranberry cocktail and you look behind your shoulders and you see them. I dont think many queers actually do much with flagging, they just wear flags because they think its cool. I think forms of femme-flagging help to communicate the right message without asking a femme presenting person to radically alter their presentation.. Do you like the idea of femme-flagging manicures? It seems like my pronoun pins, my support trans women pin(I lost a while back), & lipstick arent enough. Tuck them into your high waisted shorts. Not until last evening did I know may have been transmitting need for sexual gratification, and with another guy to boot! 4. That's a bit too complicated for me - firstly, ten different meanings is a lot to keep track of.
(During this covid-19 crisis, Ive yet to buy a face mask. Finding queer community is often a pivotal moment for people just coming into their sexuality or gender identityor navigating a new city/space. Its certainly made it more difficult to spot a flagging femme.. Bottom line: Get creative. That's fantastic. How do we partake in this time-honored queer tradition? - have preconceived notions about what lesbians look like. The Tumblr blog is now defunct, and some might argue the femme-flagging trend is too. Wearing a dark blue hanky on your right side doesnt mean someone come up to you, pull your pants down to start performing anal on you. Im worried that accent nails are too popular now to be used as a way to flag femme and/or queer.
Yeah, thats so true. Or we have different designs to code for our kinks like stripes for bondage and polka dots for fisting or silver glitter on only the pinky nail for femme4femme desires. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Primarily, what I've seen has been ladies painting all their nails one color, and then painting their ring fingernails, or ring and middle fingernails (fucking fingers! In an Autostraddle article, the author Keena looks at the ways queer people have symbolized their orientations over the centuries. But pretty sure Id count out Rosie the Riveter style or something in the hair cause theres a need for a distinct side and all with some of them and one bandana on one pigtail would ehhhh not so great I think. Dark pink is fun because it means tit torturer/tit torturee. In fact Im meeting up with her next week for lunch and well see how things go. A screen reader friendly version of this chart isavailablehere. I am all about that life. Use of this website is subject to our.
Nearby is another woman with long, shiny brown hair, a French manicure and immaculate makeup, wearing impractically high heels and gold bangles. Meanings can also parallel traditional hanky code colors - i.e. More recently circa the early 2010s femmes created their own form of flagging. ARCHIE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, THANK YOU FOR WRITING ABOUT THIS, ALSO IM OBSESSED WITH THE FACT THAT ONE OF MY FAVORITE COLORS CORRESPONDS TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO DO WITH A SEX/PLAY PARTNER. But what about high femmes?
The BBC has approached the Russian Ministry of Defence for comment, but it has not responded to the accusations. Hope you all recover soon! This tactic was especially employed in the old days (not so old days, it was really only like 30 years ago) when it wasnt as safe to be outwardly queer. While the color or pattern are what indicates your particular desires or fetishes for example, black means youre into S&M, dark blue stands for anal, red is for fisting and grey means youre into bondage. 2. Femme-flagging, also known as finger-flagging, involved painting one or two nails a different color than the other nails. Moira, sitting on the edge of my bed, legs crossed, ankle on knee, in her purple overalls, one dangly earring,the gold fingernail she wore to be eccentric,a cigarette between her stubby yellow-ended fingers, writesMarget Atwood in The Handmaids Tale which could be said to be a subtle prediction for femme flagging back in 1985.
Until now: enter the femme-flagging manicure. While our existence is still othered and persecuted in so many ways, we do have more ability to be freely ourselves in public. These are just a few ideas Ive picked up. To this day, that is still the case.
Talk it out with remote therapy programs and tools. Any of them could be. The practice of flagging has since become popular among queers of all genders, and the colors and the meanings behind the bandanas has evolved to include nearly every shade of sex, kink and fetish. Femme-flagging manicures first came to internet-fame through - what else a Tumblr.
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