Superheroes change clothes chameleons change color. Honk honk, Im a motorcycle!!. I dont mean the Green Gobblers thing. Oh, speaking of monkeys: This one isnt so bad.
Is it a clue as to whether we talking about a guest appearance or broach? Youre using another misunderstood cliche as the punchline to a totally unrelated setup while also requiring us to reconsider magnifying glasses as mirrors? Some of them are just things happening. Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? Hi again, Im Seanbaby, writing as Todd McFarlane, dark creator of Spawn, to introduce an article about another grotesque John Byrne joke book, 2003s Joke Busters Superhero Stars. Also Im just going to call her Bork. Its the embarrassing final words of a research monkey being destroyed in a failed linguistics experiment. Here John asks what would happen if the Incredible Hunk fucked a rabbit? Theyd have to hate those goddamn children so very much..
Wait, is Spy-Mans spyglass a goddamn mirror? Its already a terrible thing to intentionally misunderstand an idiom for a lame joke. Another character John created is called the Incredible Hunk. Hes simply exactly Superman with SOUP on his chest instead of an S. So, I dont know, his favorite game could be some shit like Souper Mario Bros. or Soupo Wrestling, but expecting the audience to make a connection between BOWLS and the soup in his name is wild. For the most part, if you took the masks and underwear off everyone, it wouldnt change anything. ", "Any human dumb enough to voluntarily sit through a second helping of that unremitting fecal spew really ought to just get up and leave the planet via the nearest window before their continued presence does lasting damage to the gene pool. Its inhuman. Ha. Hes exactly the fucking same! Why? This was the moment. Come on, John, think! If not, watch it, its a masterpiece.and that Spawn guy is giving off some powerfully, delightfully unironic Darkplace vibes. Let me show you how stupid you are. Sadly, understanding these jokes better is like sticking your openeyed head INTO the Ark of the Covenant. John Byrne, if your cartoon requires your audience to create an entire superhero who fakes x-ray vision, maybe the most instantly disprovable of all the superpowers, and then the payoff is only, well yeah, everyone knew, youve done something wrong. Its too wide at the top and youve got a stupid chin, "6 Family Circus Cartoons Improved With Dick Jokes", to bully them online or to write hurtful shit you'd never say to them in person, If I don't like a movie, then I won't watch it again, Toxic Prequel Haters (Toxic Star Wars Fans). If they dont, then holy shit, this joke doesnt work at all. The entire premise of the joke, the punchline of which is spelling Kent wrong, requires the most virtuous man in the universe to be stalking little kids in the woods. But not exactly. Its like Bjrk filming a Cameo for a spiders birthday, but without the Bjrk. John Byrne has created his own zany spoofs of popular superheroes and then made jokes about them. Im not exaggerating. And of course, John has hilarious things to say about how hunks roar and the way superheroes are always lifting up shops. If they spelled your beloved grandmothers name Farts Cadaver in her obituary, youd say that reminds me of the worst thing Ive ever seen in print the time all that rotten gas burped out of the corpse of John Byrnes imagination in the form of a laser toa no, never mind. If I had to rank a super hero with no x-ray vision, theyd be pretty low Roentgen. The point is, its a pretty weak framing device, no matter what frame of mind youre in! Its like asking your reader to suddenly imagine a situation where a spider is having a birthday and someone bought it a Cameo from Bjrk. Its worse to write in a straight man who misunderstands something theres no reason to misunderstand for a lame joke. Thanks for the intro, me as Todd.
I dont have a fun way to describe it. We cant give up hope that maybe there is a cure? Mrs. Byrne slipped out quietly. To set this book up, yes, its obviously bad jokes about superheroes. But as I scroll through the remains of the phone I reflexively hate stomped, I read the exchange between Mr. Byrne and his wife. This is what a Family Circus cartoon would look like if it was as goddamn dumb as you: Wait, hold on.
Ha. We can spell it like it sounds.
Hows the superhero book coming?, Come on, John. Its fucking tragic. Spy-Man also seems to have maintained most of Spider-Mans deal, in that hes insect-themed and swings around on a web. Ghost SLIDER: I dont know bitch! Lets just focus on honoring Farts.. Clark tent. Fuck you. The fact that Supermans disguise is only glasses has been a shared joke among the human race for about 80 years. What else happens to green? Oh! Is she doing okay?
Which means his favorite place in the playground is THE MAGNIFYING GRASS, a punchline way closer to a Wizards & Warriors powerup than a joke. John, take that pen you cant draw for shit with and fuck yourself with it. This sells itself as a superhero book, but not much of it has anything to do with superhero activities. CONGRATULATIONS, SIR NOW THERES A FLY IN THE SOUPERMAN? What the hell does that mean? Look, guys, Im sorry. [Stares at Justins comment for way too long, unable to decipher if its a pretty good John Byrne impression or a sincere but bizarre question/joke], Cameo is an app where celebs get paid to say stuff. And why is Souperman camping out with children on a school trip? Its like a flesh eating bacteria asking you to take a moment to rate your experience. Green is almost the same word as grin, right? The point is, its a pretty weak framing device, no matter what frame of mind youre in!. I dont know if this properly reflects my feelings, but this cartoon is what AIDS would say if it could talk. He knows x-rays see through things and hes heard the phrase seeing right through you, but he cant quite link it all together. Its the only appearance of Gorilla Man, but he seems to have a coherent theme and John managed to put together a riddle that would make any popsicle stick manufacturer say, I consider this adequate. But look at where we are. Im not comfortable with how often the people in this book finish a joke by saying I dont know the punchline! and strangling the nearest person. Ill kill you!! Ha ha ha HAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!. And John Byrnes take on this, the oldest superhero joke, is using a word with a double meaning and getting one of the meanings wrong. This article was brought to you by our fine sponsor and Hot Dog Supreme: Ozzie Olin, also known as the Flish (like the Flash but part fish) who responded to the question how are you doing, The Flish? With Ive BREAM better! This is our longest dedication ever because thats how far you have to journey to land a John Byrne joke. There arent standards by which to judge something like John Byrne.
I can confirm, having grown up with the green cross man videos and in a culture where the idea of crossing at the green man is accepted wisdom and how we communicate it to our children that this joke still utterly sucks. Heres your answer: thats nuts, and he strangles Spy-Man! Hey Ghost SLIDER. If there were any laws in place for making bad jokes, the state would chemically castrate you for this and sentence the remaining, non-genital parts of you to twenty consecutive life terms. And Im talking original Japanese, "Rob Ford is a crack-smoking Bills fan. [insert picture of a guy watching Frankenstein]. John Byrne has a wet smear of chewed gum where an imagination should be. Morbid sadness scratching at the edge of whimsy?
I think he tried to draw him handsome with the talentless paws he calls hands, but hes otherwise no different than the original superhero hes spelling wrong. I hate that if you squint hard enough and pedantically enough you can exhume the skeleton of a joke concept from some of these. I mean he spelled all their names wrong and nothing else. It would just be nude people expressing themselves incorrectly in a miserable impersonation of humor. Whyd you steal second base? Have you ever, while walking through the shadows of darkness, found something you hated so much youd betray your best friend for a chance to unmake it? And since he eats so much, hes green? Maybe were supposed to forgive the dislogic because in Soupermans case, he would try to be less of a spectacle by wearing more spectacles no. He doesnt even have a different secret identity. Is the word cross here referring to making him mad? The moment Seanbaby stepped too far into the darkness and lost a part of himself that will never hope to be again. Unless oh damn it, I think he might mean hes green like hes nauseous a cannibal in a kids book adorably happy hes about to puke. So what happened to John Byrnes wife? Youre a fake dog poop factory worker who made some dumb shape that didnt look like poop. Person: hey Ghost SLIDER. TVTropes is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. Maybe you could try, like, a riddle, John? He was getting worse. My favorite Seanbaby articles are the ones where he is just so disgusted with what this random asshole has done that instead of an elegant winding road to to a clever punchline we just get fuck you. You idiot fuck, John. I see a glint of pain, of regret, in Seanbabys marionette-like eyes. Toddlers bite it! This is a strange one an interview with a villain named The Green Gobbler whose zaniness is based on how he enjoys eating? Kal-Eggdrop of Kryptom-yum? I know what he faced, what that thing has done to him. A Gorilla Man used a mon-KEY to break into a crooks headquarters and my expectations have been lowered so far I consider it a good try. Has anyone ever seen Garth Marenghis Darkplace?? That took me twelve seconds, you stupid asshole. ", I dont like your face, as it happens. I didnt know it was going to turn into this. She didnt know how much more time she could buy. I mean, hes seen a joke and has to have thought about how they work. Never mind, neurologists, this is only some kind of titty code. Do wrestlers who also work as crossing guards grin after they lose? Aaand bear it? Good luck decoding his thoughts on lasers, though: This is the Mein Kampf of toast cartoons. A: Dracula! Hi. And since hes green, maybe maybe something with traffic lights? This is a joke book where some monster added an o to Supermans name and sold it to innocent children. You couldnt make him fucking Clark Consumm or Cream of Kent? Look at it. Again, I need to be clear: aside from eating a fly out of it in a restaurant that one time, Souperman has no soup theme or abilities. If the first speaker followed this up with, Of course I mean break out of prison, idiot, it would almost sound like real dialog. Not all the Hunk jokes have to do with people losing their minds near the color green. I dont know how much longer I can watch the neurons in his fading brain limp from one idea back to that same idea with the letters rearranged. The ones who are saying 'check your brain in at the door' checked their brains as soon as they were given birth to.